i suppose I should have known
she could never say “i love you”
it was as if the words welled up in her throat
and choked her
i have no doubt that she did love me
but speaking the words
out loud
were, for her
most times impossible
my heart ached in the silence of her declarations
in time I asked
why?
in her world I love you was saved
and sacred
for special occassions only
I learned to hold my words close inside me
seldom allowing them to escape
except occassionally
eryll oellermann
15th september 2023
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