doing it the french way

I should have known we could not last

they say with age comes wisdom

but in my case it just ain’t so

I’ve always bucked the system

she could not say “i love you”

but said “you know I do”

and I,the great romantic learned

to keep my silence too

at night, she said, “you make noise”

in english that means snoring

“i must to work, I need my sleep”

to sleep alone is boring!

she could not use the sofa bed

she said it hurt her chest

and so I slept there all alone

I really tried my best

she took me to her mother’s house

introduced me as a friend

and that is how the matter stayed

until the very end

our relationship was private

she had no need to share

the fact that we were lovers

involved in an affair

“it is nobody’s business”

“no need for them to know”

but in my heart there was an ache

which never ceased to grow

I didn’t want to lose her

but her ways were far from mine

she said I spoke too loudly

I thought I sounded fine

“you eat too fast, sit up straight”

“you must not point your finger”

too much to change, too much to learn

should I go or should I linger?

oh I am far from perfect

but I’m really not that bad

these mentioned imperfections

really made me sad

she always was “too busy”

too many things to do

no time to sit and contemplate

no time for me and you

I wrote this in the small wee hours

of the night of two september

that was the night we ceased to be

I wanted to remember

it was so good when it was good

those memories burn my brain

but now I own an aching heart

her absense is my pain

but time will pass and I will heal

my need for her will fade

until I am myself once more

the debt of love slow paid

for love’s a gift which has a price

and that price has to be

the pain of loss when love departs

and I am once more free

Copyright © 2018 by Eryll Oellermann