doing
it the french way
I
should have known we could not last
they
say with age comes wisdom
but
in my case it just ain’t so
I’ve
always bucked the system
she
could not say “i love you”
but
said “you know I do”
and
I,the great romantic learned
to
keep my silence too
at
night, she said, “you make noise”
in
english that means snoring
“i
must to work, I need my sleep”
to
sleep alone is boring!
she
could not use the sofa bed
she
said it hurt her chest
and
so I slept there all alone
I
really tried my best
she
took me to her mother’s house
introduced
me as a friend
and
that is how the matter stayed
until
the very end
our
relationship was private
she
had no need to share
the
fact that we were lovers
involved
in an affair
“it
is nobody’s business”
“no
need for them to know”
but
in my heart there was an ache
which
never ceased to grow
I
didn’t want to lose her
but
her ways were far from mine
she
said I spoke too loudly
I
thought I sounded fine
“you
eat too fast, sit up straight”
“you
must not point your finger”
too
much to change, too much to learn
should
I go or should I linger?
oh
I am far from perfect
but
I’m really not that bad
these
mentioned imperfections
really
made me sad
she
always was “too busy”
too
many things to do
no
time to sit and contemplate
no
time for me and you
I
wrote this in the small wee hours
of
the night of two september
that
was the night we ceased to be
I
wanted to remember
it
was so good when it was good
those
memories burn my brain
but
now I own an aching heart
her
absense is my pain
but
time will pass and I will heal
my
need for her will fade
until
I am myself once more
the
debt of love slow paid
for
love’s a gift which has a price
and
that price has to be
the
pain of loss when love departs
and
I am once more free
Copyright
© 2018 by Eryll Oellermann
