today is mine

in love my heart was chained, a prisoner
with bands of gold and knots unbreakable
until that day, when all the world unravelled
the impossible became possible once more
in one interminable raging moment
with sharp breath, indrawn in haste
that once sweet mouth spewed forth such venom
enough to wake my slumbering sense of self
instead of pain i knew the light of freedom
those unbreakable chains fought loose
knots once so tight, slid free, untied
a prisoner of love no more, i breathed freedom
my heart knew peace, my mind knew calm
today is mine, tomorrow a new destiny waits
my heart free to love, these arms free to embrace
hands which would trace the shadow of your smile
hold you to me in the opportunity of forever


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

a new beginning

holding you is a new beginning
in you i feel the warmth of sunshine
the caress of soft falling rain
my heart for so long abandoned
like a seed fallen on arid ground
unable to absorb the gift of growth
this heart hears your life song
i see, i hear, i feel and i am reborn
in the wonder of your touch

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

in mind and memory

i believe in love and happiness
so why, do i cling like a miser
to keening, loss and misery
because in the sadness, the ache
you still exist, i still hold you
if i were to forget, go on
open myself to the future
i would then lose it all
not only the already vanished
closeness of the physical
in stretching towards a new beginning
i would lose the memory of you
like a wraith you would fade
translucent, leaving my reality
invisibility would cloak our love
this love in time would lie forgotten
i have no need or want for peace
when losing the last of you
is the too precious price to be paid
so i continue to exist
in this timeless place of loss
where longing and regret
hold you warm and familiar
clutched tight to me
still resident, in mind and memory

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

lost in the white

where am i, who am i
why am i here
i'm lost in the white
the deep silence of fear

i find i inhabit
a world without meaning
the dark city beckons
a love song, she's keening

come to me, assuage me
let me swift surround
who needs the world
when the dark has been found


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

times ten

you speak of paraprosdokians and words
times ten
which make them yours for ever
unforgettable you are
a mystery for my solving
and i
whose name you call
times ten
breathe soft and dream
a soon unfolding future
of together


Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

what price reality

i remember how
my head once full of questions
the who, the where
the why the hell not

the time
before the drugs
to stop my arteries
from clogging

i remember passion
and words which beat
against my mind
demanding to be written

the time
before the happy pills
which save my sanity
and destroy my passion

i remember my reality
where i would lie in wonder
on lawn, alive with life
and watch

the time
of then begins
to whisper through my mind
insistent in reminder

i remember life
released from the deep
chemical embrace
spared the attrition of cure

the time
to live is now
tomorrow is another question
worth remembering to ask

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

two perfect crystal glasses

driving through the bush veld
on our way from somewhere
going nowhere in particular
the road, long, black
shimmering with mirages
there it stood, a farm stall
more of a lean to really
built of cracking planks, grey with age
and a rusty corrugated iron roof
the sign was large and clear
"ice cold home made ginger beer"
the car tyres abandoned the smoothness
deserting the tarmac for the bump and slide
of the stony, dusty roadside
as he hit the brakes
the sound of sliding gravel
the motor switched off
the country silence engulfed us
i open the car door and swing my legs out
my new white sneakers land with a plop
on the thick dust and gravel
i glance down at my shoes
now coated with a fine red film
the angry heat sears my throat
the air is as dry as a dowager's skin
we lope over to the semi shade
where the rusty iron roof juts out a little
behind the makeshift counter is a smiling face
and a tin bath, full of ice, somewhat melted
swimming in the frozen water
old two litre cola and lemonade bottles
long emptied of their original contents
filled now with that nectar of the gods
"ice cold home made ginger beer"
happily, we bartered money for liquid sustenance
the work worn hands which accompanied the smiling face
lifted a full bottle from the bath
it rested on the stained and dusty counter
melted ice and the dew of evaporation
sliding down the bottle
gathering in a wet ring
where wood and plastic met
the smiling face turned and from beneath the counter
produced, two perfect crystal glasses

All materials Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

elizabeth

i wonder if you'll ever know
how much you mean to me
you tease and you torment, sweetheart
and still i am not free
the day that i first met you
in person, face to face
i found my body shaking
my heart it ran a race
i knew your words, i knew your wit
you shared with me your mind
but in your company i learned
of treasure still to find
so many things in common
so many things to do
and most of all my need to reach
to reach out and touch you

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

a little less

blue skies today and sunshine
my pain a little less
my heart a little lighter
perhaps love is only an addiction
causing agonizing withdrawal
day three, day seven
three weeks, three months
enduring addictive resurgences
upsurges of regret
for the lost love ,the missing romance
nudging at the brain,causing irritation
feelings of self denial
once more requiring willpower
perhaps love is only a habit
which if resisted will retreat
turning the pain of today
into the gentle memory of tomorrow

Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

tonight

tonight is not all darkness
the moon approaches fullness
clouds line the sky and yet
light caresses the dark landscape
the night reigns majestic
the wind gives voice tonight
amidst the whip and whine
i hear whispers of the past
the breathy hopes of tomorrow
she touches me and tugs
hair grown long and shaggy
with playful voracity
my breath catches at her touch
the wind, tonight my lover

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

guiltless

reality slides
guiltless
between past and future
every moment a lifetime
come and gone
with scant regard
for a world
wishful of propriety
i feel for freedom
as i tumble through the cracks
oblivious, unaware
free to dismiss
the taunts of time

Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann