you knew me

why do i always wish for a happy ending
i should remember the obvious
life is not a bowl of cherries
and if it was ...well hell
the fruit at the bottom of said bowl
is always going to be
past it's prime
people desire us to be their dream
to fulfil their need
i am a chameleon born
to give people what they need is my delight
i love to love
that makes me attractive
to those who are hungry for love
i am also impulsive impetuous impatient
where angels fear to tread
is my home territory
quick to love but as unstable as a rope bridge
i swing between the poles of affection and dismay
meaning well as i tread the hell path
and so i earn the bitter hatred
the vitriolic attack of the past
where once cherished i am now despised
i own my guilt, i own my weakness
i understand the loss of hope and dreams
i ache with regret for the pain i caused
the dream left shattered
i have learned that to promise is an insanity
best avoided
but you would have me now a monster
dancing with deliberation on shattered hearts
believe what you will for i had no hidden agenda
no ill intent no mask of innocence
i had only who i am and who i have always been
who i remain and who i will always be
and i say to the past "you knew me"

Copyright © 2013 by Eryll Oellermann